Meet Erie Testimonial

      I once watched a man walk into a rehab for an intake assessment wearing only one shoe. The counselor also made this observation and with a mixture of curiosity and amusement asked, "What's wrong brother, lost a shoe?" He smiled at him and declared, "Nope, I found one!" And with that, I was taught a little something about perspective.

      Last Thursday I was involved in an outreach event with Erie Young Adults. I took on some of the responsibility of organizing the event. It was a simple event. We just wanted to show a little love for our community and spread the message of hope in the process. So me and some other more accurately described young adults set up a table downtown and served coffee, cookies, bottled water, and smiles.

      The first reason I knew God was present throughout the week of the event was because I often struggle with high levels of anxiety. But I had absolutely no anxiety in the planning or putting on of this event. It had to be God because usually I would have been worried about all the little details. "Will people show up? Will we have enough supplies? Will we have enough help?" Instead, I had confidence through out all of it, I somehow just knew it would work. I just wanted us to point to the glory of God in the hopes that someone might see it. Even if it was just one person. We definitely accomplished the goal.

      We served and spoke with dozens of people throughout the experience, but the one person that stuck out to me was a young man. I recognized him as someone I've seen around that area for quite awhile. He is homeless. When we mentioned God he said, "Oh I believe in God, me and Him just have some issues to work out." At that moment my heart did back flips because I knew he was the reason I was out there that day! I explained to him that I was a chronic alcoholic who has been homeless off and on for the last ten years because of it, and that I fully understand what he means by what he said, and I don't judge him at all. If anything, I relate.

     This is where my area of expertise comes in. I struggled deeply with the concept of God. I've mulled over every who, what, where, and why question there is with Him. Mercifully, (because I definitely didn't deserve it), God brought me back to Him and restored my faith in Jesus. He also restored my sobriety. The young man allowed us to pray with him and I continue to pray that God will do the same thing for him that he did for me. He has my number and if he ever uses it I'd be ecstatic. I'd drop everything and rush to see him. So much so it'd probably freak him out!

               The problem is that it is just so hard to see and feel hope when your on the streets. I heard Adam Frano from EYA say it best: we need to get to a place where we trust God's character more than we trust His plan. I feel it is so important to just go and talk with people who are struggling. Let them know they still have a voice, they still matter, they're still relevant, still loved. I was fortunate enough to have someone like that the last time I was out there (forever thanks), and I'd like to do that for someone else. Meet Erie wasn't huge, but to me it was a huge success! Were not here to point the finger at you, were here to point the finger towards God!



 

 

Pete In Training

     Irrational thought of the day: It's not that I don't like drinking, I love it. If I wasn't an alcoholic, I'd drink everyday!

    By the time I was 30 I'd had two doctors, one of them an addiction specialist, tell me that I was in the late stages of alcoholism. "So this is kinda serious?" (My response.) I've spent a large portion of my adult life battling this, so I don't know much about the real world. What I do know, (how to barely survive on the streets), doesn't apply. So how do I get along in civilized society? I do what I've always done. I wing it. Some days it works surprisingly well. Some days I fail miserably. All I know for sure is that I've been training my whole life to be the man God is turning me into today!

     You can't go to school for the things I know. I don't think you'd want to. Sure you can do extensive research on addiction. You can learn about genetic predispositions. You can read up on the adverse reactions an alcoholic's body has to the process of digesting alcohol causing the alcoholic to experience overwhelming urges to have more! -What is the phenomenon of craving! But that's not going to tell you what it feels like to wake up in a jail cell with no idea why you're there (public intoxication), or a hospital with no idea why you're there (overdose), or a park bench with no idea why you're there (Jose Cuervo). I use that description because waking up somewhere with no recollection is one of the more horrifying experiences I've had as an alcoholic.

     Stay with me now because it's not all blackouts and stories about the addiction bogey man! There's a bright side. The side I should be focusing on. With my new life in Jesus, God can use every single bit of my story for His good.

Hebrews 7:25 Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them. NIV I particularly like the words "save completely." That covers any questions I might've had. "But what about..... save completely!"

    I have what I'll call a plethora of training experiences in the hardships of addiction. What it does to the spirit, body, and mind. What it does to families and friends. What it takes to not give up, and what it takes to save you if you do (a miracle).

     I used to view my alcoholism as my downfall. The one thing that would always disqualify me from having a decent life, but through God it can be a redeeming quality in me. Never do I feel a stronger sense of purpose then when I'm working with another alcoholic. It is my specialty. How might you use your own heart ache to help someone who's hurting? We've all been through something. Who is your life training you to be? Call on God to find out what it is. He's giving beauty for ashes!

Hebrews 13:20-21 Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen. NIV





 

There Is No "I" In Denial

Doctor: Have you experienced blackouts because of your drinking?
Alcoholic: I don't remember.

The most important component of my independence from alcohol and drugs is my continual acknowledgement of my total dependence on God. Admitting I am an alcoholic was the easy part for me. The evidence was irrefutable. Where I slip up is admitting that I can't stay sober alone. For the longest time I had this illusion that once the alcohol was removed from my life, I was a completely "normal guy." I insisted that the only form of insanity I demonstrated was in regard to the drink. If this was true though, how is it that in the past I have been completely sober and walked into a liquor store, with full knowledge of how drinking affects me, and bought and consumed alcohol (got wasted). A "normal guy" wouldn't do something like that. A "normal guy" would think that's crazy. So it's conclusive: I aint right.

After a few devastating (but much needed) blows to my ego, I finally admit it. I need help. Lots and lots of it! I ask for it everyday, sometimes several times a day. As an alcoholic, the pride I have to swallow to ask for help isn't nearly as bad as what I'll go through if I relapse. I pray often. Sometimes my prayers are answered in discreet, quiet ways. Sometimes I don't even know or realize a prayer has been answered. But sometimes when a prayer of mine is answered, it's evident and tangible. So apparent that at that moment I can look to the sky and whisper, "Thank You."

So now I know that not only am I an alcoholic, but that the problem starts with me, not my drinking. My drinking is only a bi-product of the real issue: my thinking! So I need to be constantly running things by God, my support people, and my family. Thank you for reading!