New Creation

      I had a cardboard sleep number and a big fluffy book bag for a pillow. My rendition of a sleeping bag was tucking my arms into my t-shirt. When the sun came up so did I. I'd slam a beer or two real fast if I had it in my pillow, fold up my strip of cardboard and tuck it away back in the bushes to make it appear as if no one had been there. Then I would get my bearings, just kidding there was no getting of any bearings on the street. What I would do though is stumble valiantly to either the convenient store or another variable to take advantage of the running water and panhandle for just long enough to get some beer and nicotine to start my day. I was always on guard, always aware of my surroundings, and always ready to go. That is unless I was real drunk which was a frequent occurrence, and that made me a target. I knew it, and they knew it. They being the other homeless people that robbed me while I was passed out. This was why I preferred having my own discreet location to hide and flop down drunk at if I could swing such a luxury. The accidental alcohol induced comas that left me face down in the middle of the park also left me with empty pockets, every time without fail.

      I was in a constant state of adaptation to my surroundings. My attitudes, my posture, my talk, everything about me was forever changing in accordance with who I needed to be at that moment to support my addiction. That was it, the bottom line. Whatever my addiction required me to do, I did it. No questions asked. It was automatic because there was just no way that I wasn't going to drink or get high. It wasn't an option. Sounds like I was pretty obedient to my addiction right? So now that I've been saved, redeemed, and rescued from the elements what does my obedience to God look like? What does my love for others look like? Where's my level of gratitude at? One of the reasons I write these blogs is I'm reminding myself of what I went through, and these are the censored versions. You should catch me by the water cooler some time.

       So I need to stay just as vigilant in my relationship with God. Attack my recovery with the same zeal. Failure is not an option! I need to feel the urgency to answer God's calling in my life. Just because I got sober doesn't mean the fight is over. I'm just on a different battlefield now. At least on the street I knew who the enemies were (everyone), and when danger was imminent (all the time). Now that I'm not physically addicted to or mentally obsessed with alcohol I have a whole new line up of bad guys. They come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes I may not even realize I'm being attacked. It's called everyday life. I'm not good at it because I don't have much practice. I need God.

     Be ready all the time to stand up for your new life! 2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" NIV I am a new creation and I need to build my life around God. No other foundation will work. Trust me I've tried to build off of just about everything else and it doesn't work. Not for a guy like me. I try to stay active in prayer, reading the bible, and service work. I couldn't afford to get lazy on the street. I can't afford to get lazy in my faith or recovery. Thessalonians 5:16-17 "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." God must come before everything else because without God working in my life and delivering me from my addiction, I have nothing!